Being in denial is a hiding place, the outer appearance is strength, and this is what one wants to be seen. The hiding place supports the covering of many emotions, feeling overwhelmed, hollow inside, and sadness. In general, I wondered why I held back tears and sent out angry looks, refusing hugs toward those who reached out with loving arms and words of love. I tried not to shed a tear or show other signs that the loss happened. The drive of this was to shield me from responding to people, and in doing this I was harming myself physically by causing diverse levels of stress and anxiety.
I became aware that I must expect grief to be a process. In the process came strong emotions; fatigue, loneliness, not eating, fear, guilt, anger, not sleeping, not communicating. Grief is a natural expression of loss in our life that creates a void. Yes, it is painful; it is a regretful emotion when our loved one has left this life on earth. We are made up of three parts—mind, body, and soul. These three parts are each unique as well as different, however, each part affects the other. Even though the mind, body, and soul have different functions they each affect the other.
“Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.” (Psalm 31:9 ESV) Let's continue to seek GOD for His guidance, daily.