“Come closer and let me tell you a story?” Let me share with you how I made it through my season of grief and how I was able to do self-care in the process. My intimate grief journey started in January 2017. I was having the time of my life! I was in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, raising my daughter to be a happy and healthy young lady, and I was enjoying my professional life. I had begun to invest in myself by enrolling in both professional business courses and self-development personal coaching. I was having such an exciting time in life that nothing could have changed the trajectory of it.
Until the day that I never expected to come, it floored me, to say the least. I was preparing for an appointment with my beloved and when I got to the house; I was in shock. He was no longer in the land of the living! Can I say my entire world was upside down in a matter of hours? I felt so shocked, and I was in denial, I could hardly breathe! The air that I breathed for the past year was now gone. I screamed I hollered, I exhaled and fell to my knees. I could not go on anymore and I had to make the phone calls that I dared to make. I was moving on autopilot and was not even breathing. Again, the air that I breathed was now gone. This was a source of strength, a rock, and now it had crumbled. My life, the world, and all that I knew to be in were sucked out of me because of grief. This journey has not been easy to navigate or overcome but the one lesson I learned in this time was to take care of ME! It is hard to say that when you have lost your soul and do not know how to move about. This was a major shock to my system, and I did not know how to climb out. As the days began to move and my thoughts were not as cloudy, I began to move. I made up my mind that I would live and not die with his death.
"Self-care can mean many things to different people, however for me, it began with journaling."
I would journal in my bed and write between crying spells. This became common for me, and this began to be the life of an author. I have authored a few books while in the space of journaling as I embraced my own self-care. Never let anyone dictate what you must do to take care of yourself. You decide what it is that you need to care for YOU. Six suggestions are: Making yourself a priority, Saying No, Incorporating Spiritual and Religious Care, Engaging in Professional Counseling, and Setting Boundaries. These things along with a support system are ways to take care of you After Grief.